Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Break Up to Make Up

When it comes to sex, there are a variety of scenarios and visions that may come to mind. With sex, people usually have a preference for this work of art, especially when you are physically attracted to someone, in a relationship or both. One of the popular topics on this physical notion is make up sex vs. break up sex. Having two different meanings and similar actions, they are two of the most popular and disputable versions of sex.

If the chemistry between two people is strong, the physical attraction can be looked upon as an electrifying movement. Make up sex can arouse from a disagreement, dispute or miscommunication between a couple but most would say it is a hot and heavy form of sex. In a unique way, the passion behind the disagreement draws you closer,  bringing the inner essence of both parties to a forefront. This action allows the gates of emotion to take over. Emotions are heightened to such a great level, when they are implied and placed in tune with the person you love, make-up sex or a passionate love session awaits you. Unlike break-up sex, more than likely you are not breaking up with a person over a disagreement or an argument.

The approach to break-up sex is slightly different. In this form of sex there can be numerous reasons for the different actions taking place. Some people say break-up sex is looked upon as a trap, a lasting memory or just the right thing to do at the moment. Before breaking up, the sex that takes place is a result of a last resort or option left between a failing relationship. Since the relationship itself is not working out, the next best thing your emotions are connected to may be the physical attributes of the relationship. Unlike make-up sex once you declare a break-up, there is no relationship to come back to unless there is a change of heart during the act of break-up sex. Even with a change of heart the relationship may not be in the strongest state because the lasting impression that is left is solely based on a heightened physical encounter.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Cocktails or More

Many things can happen on the first date. Rather good or bad, a first date can determine the next step you will take with a person.

When a first date goes wrong it can leave a bad impression, disappointment and an individual uninterested in the other person.
Wanting to deal with that person on different levels intimately, exclusively or personally, can quickly diminish, but what happens if things go well.
On the other side of the spectrum, a good impression can be everything and more. If the first date  goes exceptionally well and is better than what’s expected, what actions will prevail after?
Do you go back to your place, their place or maybe even for a cocktail. How comfortable have you been after a first date and what are your limits? Is there a kiss, a number exchange or a full on sexcapade?
When the chemistry is high and different connections are there, more than likely you will want to see that person again.
What actions should a person take after a great first date and is there a limit?

Monday, April 15, 2013

How Far is Too Far? What's Your Limit?

You have seen those relationships or have been these types of relationships... those relationships where you see one partner pushing the other partner's buttons. Sometimes both persons in a relationship are extremely passionate/stubborn and fight for what they believe in aka their opinion. Sometimes one person may be purposely challenging their partner more than what is necessary but it may end disastrously.

So how far is too far? What is your limit? How much is going to be too much... in a past relationship, an ex and I were both very stubborn people. You know those situations where you know you are absolutely correct but the other person thinks that they are absolutely correct as well? That was the kind of situation I was stuck in many times. However, I did realize at times where it's not worth the argument. You should want to say sorry and end the argument because you love your partner and you still respect whatever choices and decisions they choose to make.

But sometimes these friendly debates may turn into overbearing arguments which lead into disaster. So what do you do when you know you are about to reach your limit? What's your solution? What do you choose to do? Has it ever blown up in your face? Have you learned anything from past experiences? What to do, what to do...

Friday, April 12, 2013

Wait, what happened?... WHAT?!

Have you ever had that moment in a relationship where something extremely weird/disgusting happened and you were both just horrifingly amazed? Then you either cracked up or it affected your relationship in a bad way.

An example could be that someone may let out a fart while in the process of making love. What do you do? Honestly, I would be a tiny bit embarrassed but if my relationship was truly in the further stages, I would probably end up cracking up into laughter with my partner. (Honestly it's happened before and that's what ended up happening, so no regrets or shame, haha!) I think that stage in the relationship is beautiful when you may end up having a "gross" moment but you both take it in stride, especially if you are both comfortable around each other. You know you are both super comfortable with each other when you are both in the same bathroom doing whatever daily routines you do after waking up or before going to bed.

So have you had any of these moments? It's what I'd call a hilariously fond moment in a past relationship. I would rather look upon these moments with fondness rather than bitterness so these silly moments help! Share your moments and hopefully they remind you of good times. :)

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I'm Addicted to You

Addiction is our topic today!

Have you ever had that one partner where you are/were absolutely head-over-heels for? You seem to gravitate to whatever they want, whatever they do, whereever they are. It might sound a bit stalkerish, but you may find that this person is your soulmate. So when does it go too far that you end up spending all your time thinking or being with this partner?

Sometimes one person in a relationship may end up spending all her spare time with her significant other, rather than splitting it amongst her friends and family as well. So how do you approach this issue with your friend that is becoming addicted to his or her significant other? Do you even approach it? Some people honestly give up and would rather let the person live their life, however they choose. Would you hold an intervention of your own? What would you do??

Speaking from experience, I can say that sometimes time does run away with me. I enjoy my time with my significant other because being both your best friend and your partner makes it even more fun to share new or old experiences together. I do have to say that I did notice that I was neglecting my friends more and more but turned that around after a while but instead of it being brought to my attention, they just let me continue on with my life. I can't say I wouldn't do the same either because of my passive-aggressiveness at times but instead of drifting away from each other, I wish that I had done something sooner or they had told me sooner as well. The past is past though but if you have been through a similar experience, I hope you worked it out as well.

So what do you do with a friend who is becoming more addicted to her significant other and not paying attention to other important aspects in life?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Pretty Little Liar

Of course people tell little white lies while in a relationship, to their partner.. but when does it go too far?

Example one: This woman cannot cook at all. By "not at all", I mean she doesn't know how to cook eggs and can barely boil water.. without help. It's entirely stereotypical (but true) that on the first date, you may tell a few white lies to impress your date... so she paints herself as a great cook who loves eating homemade food. So what do you do in the situation where her boyfriend wants a home cooked meal one night as a date? She panics and calls her friend, who really is a great cook, to cook their dinner for her. Problem solved.. until he decides to stay the night and expects breakfast in the morning. Instead of having to have her chef friend over for every home cooked meal in the breakfast/afternoon/evening, she decides to come clean. Her boyfriend, already suspicious of her "great cooking skills", laughs it off because to him, it's not a big lie or a big deal. This scenario ends well.

Example two: This woman does not want kids. She has had no desire in her lifetime to ever want kids. She ends up meeting the man of her dreams but the big difference is that he wants kids- at least 3 of them! She doesn't want to give up her perfect man so she tells the little white lie that she also wants children and believes that maybe if she keeps it up, she'll actually want kids in the future. However, her mind and heart haven't changed in the next few months. The two are starting to talk about marriage and feeling guilty, she decides to come clean. He is angry and confused. They end up breaking up and this situation ends up in the worst outcome category.

There are the acceptable white lies but when does a white lie become an unacceptable lies? I'd advise for you just to stay truthful because that's when it is the least messiest. But to each their own! However, remember that relationships thrive on honesty, communication and trust.

Friday, March 15, 2013

The Perfect Gift

What is the appropriate gift for your significant other? Sometimes it is extremely hard for me to pick out a present for just my friend let alone my significant other! 

Personally I try to strategize. I would rather get my partner something that would mean a lot to him, even better if it means a lot to both of us. For example, I made a “care package” kind of thing for an ex for his Christmas present. It consisted of a sweater that he wanted (when I asked him to choose between three choices, haha), a specialized water bottle that he mentioned in passing that he liked, a heartfelt written card, and other items that were personal and meant something to both of us. He loved it and that in return, made me feel great about it! Sometimes, giving is even better than receiving! 

My opinion is that the more personal and thoughtful the gift is, the more that your partner will actually love it. Even something small but carefully thought out is better than something expensive bought last minute with no thought behind it. I would rather receive the gift and immediately think, “wow, _____ knows me so well!” and see the effort that my significant other put behind it. 

Some time and effort may be needed but it will be worth seeing the shocked, happy, surprised expressions on your partner’s face when he or she opens your present!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Meeting the Friends

You are currently in a serious and committed relationship with your partner. Your friends have wanted to meet him since you've been raving about your wonderful significant other. So when is the appropriate time to introduce him to your friends?

Your friends’ impressions may or may not be important to you but either way, they will end up having an opinion about him. Whether or not they tell you, or if you care about their opinions, if you want the result to be great, here’s some tips!

Make sure that your significant other is comfortable to meet your friends. If he or she feels unprepared and nervous, your friends may pick up on that and it may end up going in either a good or bad direction. Your significant other may feel like they have to impress your friends and end up acting completely different than the person he or she actually is. Therefore, have your significant other and your friends meet somewhere neutral and comfortable. You could possibly go for drinks after dinner with your significant other. Give some tips to your significant other. Maybe one friend has a sensitive topic that your partner should not bring up- let him know before the night may end up badly! 

Have you had any good or bad experiences while introducing your partner to your friends? Share them along with your tips!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Bumping into your Ex.. Now What?

Have you ever run into your ex-significant other unexpectedly? It's definitely happened to me! What do you end up doing in that split moment?

When it has happened to me, it caught me off-guard. Once a relationship ends, I do not end up on talking terms with my ex-relationships. My last relationship ended on an okay note but something happened that made it horrible and that ended on bad terms due to insecurities with his new fling. I ended up running into him at a party in our college town but we didn’t end up speaking to each other. It was a bit awkward and I literally saw him walk in, see me, turned around trying to avoid me, and ended up walking really quickly past me. I expected nothing less but I didn’t know what else to do either!

So what would you advise someone to do if they run into their ex-relationship? My personal advice: keep it classy, cool and short. There’s no better revenge than seeming cool, calm and collected when running into your ex-relationship! Even if you are boiling with anger at seeing your ex-relationship on a date with another person or full of awkwardness, keep it inside and don’t lose your cool! 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Bring On the Sexy!

If you ever need some tips or help creating some more fire between you and your partner, look no further!

1) Take a bath together. Add some bubbles, champagne, lit candles, soft music in the background! Use a great bath bomb to heighten the senses. This creates a great stage for seduction and for a memorable night.

2) Have a sensual picnic. Get some yummy dessert like chocolate-covered strawberries with some great champagne or wine in a romantic setting such as beach side.

3) Try out aphrodisiacs. Try a date night where you and your partner try out a variety of aphrodisiacs. You can try out oysters or chocolate fondue!

4) Striptease. A personalized striptease just for your partner? They'll love it. Wear a sexy outfit that may be on of their favorites - one of his dress shirts with a sexy pair of lingerie. Put on some good music and start dancing!

5) Give a massage. There is nothing more relaxing as well as seductive than skin-to-skin contact. With some warmed up massage oil and some relaxing music playing softly in the background, it'll heighten the senses and get your partner in the mood.

Hope these ideas have helped! Always remember to try to pull out these tricks from your hat if you need to spark the fire between you and your partner back up.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Busy Bee... But Too Busy for You??

Relationships require hard work! There's always that one couple that seems "perfect" to everyone- doesn't get into arguments, both lead seemingly "perfect" lives, amazing connection!

However, I honestly believe that no matter what, relationships take a lot of hard work to keep one going. Both partners in the relationship need to put in effort, not one over the other. Sometimes one may feel that he or she is giving more in the relationship but that hopefully is not the real case with the relationship. Otherwise, it may be time for a talk.

Another scenario: Peter is currently immersed in his life: school, work, sports, social life. His girlfriend, Mary, currently feels that she is being a bit left out of his life. She understands that Peter is busy and the fact that they both go to different schools doesn't really help because of the short distance. However, she feels that he squeezes her in his schedule whenever it is convenient for him rather than for the both of them. She just wants him to put aside a few minutes at the beginning or end of the day so they can talk about their day or anything... any reassurance that their relationship and connection is still the same. She doesn't know whether or not to express this to him or just to hide her feelings and stick it out. What should she do?

My personal opinion is that she should talk to Peter about it! I have been through this certain experience before and if I had hid my feelings, I might have just bottled it up until one day it burst out and made the situation worse than I intended. I think tone and reasoning are extremely important in this situation because if handled in the wrong way, Peter may take Mary's feelings in the wrong way and take the situation in the way that Mary is being too sensitive and wanting Peter to take on less things in his life and spend it with her instead. However, Mary also has to realize that she has to find the line between being too sensitive and actually justifying her emotions. If she is able to convey that she understands that he is busy with his commitments but asks that he put aside 5 minutes at the end of the day to catch up and say good night to each other with him understanding that she is only trying to help their relationship, it will hopefully end well for the both of them. (Compromise always works well!)

What's your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with my handling of the situation? Have you been through this before?

Monday, March 4, 2013

Men's First Date Pet Peeves!

Women have certain standards of what a first date should entail.. so of course men do too! Here are some of the biggest first date complaints from men!

1) Being late without any warning. Honestly this is one of my pet peeves too. If you're going to be late, let me know! It isn't hard to send a text or a phone call to let me know that you are running late. If I'm supposed to be picking you up (this goes for hanging out with friends as well.. sorry, just a majro pet peeve!) and I'm trying to call you for details but you aren't picking up or responding to my texts or calls, I get impatient and mad. Usually they are just away from their phones, their phone has died or they are napping with their phone on silent, but we have plans at a time we both decided! Common courtesy, please! If you show up to a date late, chances are that the date will not start smoothly. Good manners and common courtesy go a long way.
2) Being dressed inappropriately.
This goes for being underdressed, overdressed or just inappropriately dressed. If you know you have a date right after work, bring a change of clothes and a small travel bag of beauty essentials with you to the office then. Look good, feel good! Don't change into something that really isn't anything either... just because he or she can't take his eyes off you (or your other body parts that may be hanging out) doesn't mean that he or she likes you... they just may appreciate what you're showing off for free. Dress appropriate for the situation too! If you're going to the movies, no need for a cocktail dress.
3) Little to no eye contact and fake smiles. You're sending the wrong messages! Making eye contact makes you seem confident to your date as well as open to communication. It is also fairly easy to differentiate a fake smile from a genuine smile. Listen and communicate with your date or else it won't seem like you're having a good time, when in reality you're having a great time with your date!
4) Glued to your phone. I'm guilty of being on my phone when I'm hanging out with my family or friends! I really enjoy it however when my friends and I play that phone game (when we stack our phones on top of each other and the first one to give in to get their phone has to pay for everyone's meals or being publicly shamed) because it forces us to socialize to each other rather than being in our own mobile network. On a date, keep your phone in your purse or pocket on silent or vibrate if you must. You're here to get to know your date, not to check your email and messages!
5) Poor manners.
This goes with #1! If your date sees you being rude to your waiter or other people, it gives off a poor impression of you. First impressions are everything and if I go on a date where my date is shouting at the waiter because he forgot to get more water, I'm not going to want to go on a second date. It will make your date wonder if this is the way that you will treat him or her in the future.. if you even have a future together!
6) Talking about your ex. No one wants to hear about your ex flame on a date together. Trust me. Just don't bring it up. Even if your date is the most caring and understanding person on earth, a first date is not the time to live in the past! If you're still talking about your past problems, you may not be ready for a new relationship.

So men, do you agree with these first date complaints? Women, do you think these are ridiculous or can you relate? I can say I definitely relate to all these first date pet peeves!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Did You Know About This??

Today I bring you some more shockers about dating and relationships!

Some not so shocking but interesting data:
1) Couples usually wait around 6-8 dates until they are both willing to enter into a monogamous and exclusive relationship. I agree with this. However, people do enter into relationships within maybe 2 dates but each person rolls their own way, right? I can completely agree that this seems average though.
2) The most common time for a break-up of a relationship is around 3-5 months. I also agree with this. A good amount of relationships end up being over after the "honeymoon period" where one person in the relationship may start getting annoyed with the other's habits that they may have glossed over before. There are also other reasons of course.
3) 92% of single parents would rather date other single parents instead of singles. Honestly, if I was a single parent, I would also want to date another single parent. I just feel like the other person would understand what I have been through or am going through. There's also always that chance that if the person I was dating, hadn't mentioned that they did not want or like children. There is no future in that and ends up being a waste of time for the both of you.

Here comes the shockers:
1) 33% of online daters form a relationship, 33% do not end up in a relationship and 33% end up giving up. Those numbers made my eyes open wide... also the fact that all the numbers are 33%. However, those numbers also seem plausible as well. It makes me sad that some people could end up with nothing though.
2) There are 95.9 million unmarried people in the United States. 47% of that 95.9 million are men and 53% are women. Nothing to say except that 95.9 million is a whole lot of people.
3) If you want to create an instant link with a date, say his or her name at least twice in the conversation. It will show that you are paying attention to your date and flatters the other person.
4) HOT DEBATE: What is the appropriate time to call after you meet someone? It is usually 2-4 days but does not go beyond 4-5 days. However, calling too soon can seem desperate but calling too late can seem like you're playing a game.

What do you think? I honestly thought the factual data was interesting but found it relatively true and not-so-shocking. I also found the shockers actually surprising. I agree that #4 is a hot debate between people though... I personally prefer for a man to call me sooner than later but to each their own right?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Friends, Friends with Benefits, or Friends Zoned?

We've all heard about friends with benefits and being friend zoned, right?!

For a movie example concerning friends with benefits, let's take "Friends With Benefits" starring Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. It was a hilarious rom-com (aka romantic comedy) and tugged at our heartstrings when Timberlake rejected the idea of him being with Kunis with her overhearing it. Do you believe that you could be in a strictly friends-with-benefits relationship?

I know that people say they are satisfied with a "hook-up only" relationship with no strings attached. No cuddling, no having to commit, no "real" relationship. However, a lot of these friends-with-benefits-only relationships end up with one person having feelings for the other but the other person may not reciprocate the same feelings, ending up with hurt feelings and a damaged relationship. This may not be the case for everything but rarely have I seen a friends-with-benefits relationship that has yet to work out but then again, not many friends of mines have done just a friends-with-benefits relationship.

On the other hand, I've seen a million and one of my friends get friend zoned. It's really hard once you get into that area to get out of it. It stinks that one person works up the courage to tell their friend that he or she has feelings but the feelings are not reciprocated as well. Some people just keep hoping and wishing that maybe someday, their feelings will be the same for each other. However, when is the time to either move on or to keep hoping? There is no real answer that I can give you; if you two are friends and happy, then that's what you should remain with for now. It may or may not happen but if it is supposed to, then it will. Sooner or later, you never know but everything about being friend zoned is unpredictable!

Friday, February 22, 2013

We're Back & Better Than Ever!

Hello my Blogspot people!

For your enjoyment, we will be having this blog up as well as our blog on our website (<-- click to go there!). There will be different reading material on each one so visit both to learn! ;)

To welcome you back, I just wanted to ask: did you know? I learned some interesting facts from the Internet about dating and relationships so I'm going to share them!

1) The most common time for a relationship to break up is between 3 to 5 months. Not too surprising to me honestly... from my experience, a good number of couples end up breaking it off after their "honeymoon phase" slowly dwindles down.
2) MSNBC.com and Elle Magazine collaborated on a survey and discovered that more than 31% of men confessed to breaking it off with an overweight partner. This compared to 12% of women that confessed to doing the same thing... a bit shocking but definitely an shake of my head for me. Appearances do have power in the relationship.
3) Wear blue! If a man cannot decide what to wear when going on a date, wear blue if in doubt. Studies have shown that women are attracted to men that wear blue. I love blue so it works in my favor! Blue is also an attractive color for both men and women, albeit not the only color.
4) A matchmaker in Manhattan charges $20,000 as a starter. If the match is successful and ends up in marriage, a bonus is expected. What?! A good chunk of people make less than that a year... reminds me of the millionaire matchmaker though.
5) Dating was started from a courtship ritual where young women entertained male callers under a chaperone's watch during the 20th century. Later on by the 1960s to 1970s, dating was replaced by "hooking up", considering the standard/socially acceptable age for marriage started increasing. It sounds a bit sleazy to me but I also appreciate the fact that women were finally given the right of marrying whenever they wanted to, rather than at 16 years old like back in the past.

So did some facts shock you? I can tell you that I learned a couple of new things from this!