Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Pretty Little Liar

Of course people tell little white lies while in a relationship, to their partner.. but when does it go too far?

Example one: This woman cannot cook at all. By "not at all", I mean she doesn't know how to cook eggs and can barely boil water.. without help. It's entirely stereotypical (but true) that on the first date, you may tell a few white lies to impress your date... so she paints herself as a great cook who loves eating homemade food. So what do you do in the situation where her boyfriend wants a home cooked meal one night as a date? She panics and calls her friend, who really is a great cook, to cook their dinner for her. Problem solved.. until he decides to stay the night and expects breakfast in the morning. Instead of having to have her chef friend over for every home cooked meal in the breakfast/afternoon/evening, she decides to come clean. Her boyfriend, already suspicious of her "great cooking skills", laughs it off because to him, it's not a big lie or a big deal. This scenario ends well.

Example two: This woman does not want kids. She has had no desire in her lifetime to ever want kids. She ends up meeting the man of her dreams but the big difference is that he wants kids- at least 3 of them! She doesn't want to give up her perfect man so she tells the little white lie that she also wants children and believes that maybe if she keeps it up, she'll actually want kids in the future. However, her mind and heart haven't changed in the next few months. The two are starting to talk about marriage and feeling guilty, she decides to come clean. He is angry and confused. They end up breaking up and this situation ends up in the worst outcome category.

There are the acceptable white lies but when does a white lie become an unacceptable lies? I'd advise for you just to stay truthful because that's when it is the least messiest. But to each their own! However, remember that relationships thrive on honesty, communication and trust.

Friday, March 15, 2013

The Perfect Gift

What is the appropriate gift for your significant other? Sometimes it is extremely hard for me to pick out a present for just my friend let alone my significant other! 

Personally I try to strategize. I would rather get my partner something that would mean a lot to him, even better if it means a lot to both of us. For example, I made a “care package” kind of thing for an ex for his Christmas present. It consisted of a sweater that he wanted (when I asked him to choose between three choices, haha), a specialized water bottle that he mentioned in passing that he liked, a heartfelt written card, and other items that were personal and meant something to both of us. He loved it and that in return, made me feel great about it! Sometimes, giving is even better than receiving! 

My opinion is that the more personal and thoughtful the gift is, the more that your partner will actually love it. Even something small but carefully thought out is better than something expensive bought last minute with no thought behind it. I would rather receive the gift and immediately think, “wow, _____ knows me so well!” and see the effort that my significant other put behind it. 

Some time and effort may be needed but it will be worth seeing the shocked, happy, surprised expressions on your partner’s face when he or she opens your present!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Meeting the Friends

You are currently in a serious and committed relationship with your partner. Your friends have wanted to meet him since you've been raving about your wonderful significant other. So when is the appropriate time to introduce him to your friends?

Your friends’ impressions may or may not be important to you but either way, they will end up having an opinion about him. Whether or not they tell you, or if you care about their opinions, if you want the result to be great, here’s some tips!

Make sure that your significant other is comfortable to meet your friends. If he or she feels unprepared and nervous, your friends may pick up on that and it may end up going in either a good or bad direction. Your significant other may feel like they have to impress your friends and end up acting completely different than the person he or she actually is. Therefore, have your significant other and your friends meet somewhere neutral and comfortable. You could possibly go for drinks after dinner with your significant other. Give some tips to your significant other. Maybe one friend has a sensitive topic that your partner should not bring up- let him know before the night may end up badly! 

Have you had any good or bad experiences while introducing your partner to your friends? Share them along with your tips!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Bumping into your Ex.. Now What?

Have you ever run into your ex-significant other unexpectedly? It's definitely happened to me! What do you end up doing in that split moment?

When it has happened to me, it caught me off-guard. Once a relationship ends, I do not end up on talking terms with my ex-relationships. My last relationship ended on an okay note but something happened that made it horrible and that ended on bad terms due to insecurities with his new fling. I ended up running into him at a party in our college town but we didn’t end up speaking to each other. It was a bit awkward and I literally saw him walk in, see me, turned around trying to avoid me, and ended up walking really quickly past me. I expected nothing less but I didn’t know what else to do either!

So what would you advise someone to do if they run into their ex-relationship? My personal advice: keep it classy, cool and short. There’s no better revenge than seeming cool, calm and collected when running into your ex-relationship! Even if you are boiling with anger at seeing your ex-relationship on a date with another person or full of awkwardness, keep it inside and don’t lose your cool! 

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Bring On the Sexy!

If you ever need some tips or help creating some more fire between you and your partner, look no further!

1) Take a bath together. Add some bubbles, champagne, lit candles, soft music in the background! Use a great bath bomb to heighten the senses. This creates a great stage for seduction and for a memorable night.

2) Have a sensual picnic. Get some yummy dessert like chocolate-covered strawberries with some great champagne or wine in a romantic setting such as beach side.

3) Try out aphrodisiacs. Try a date night where you and your partner try out a variety of aphrodisiacs. You can try out oysters or chocolate fondue!

4) Striptease. A personalized striptease just for your partner? They'll love it. Wear a sexy outfit that may be on of their favorites - one of his dress shirts with a sexy pair of lingerie. Put on some good music and start dancing!

5) Give a massage. There is nothing more relaxing as well as seductive than skin-to-skin contact. With some warmed up massage oil and some relaxing music playing softly in the background, it'll heighten the senses and get your partner in the mood.

Hope these ideas have helped! Always remember to try to pull out these tricks from your hat if you need to spark the fire between you and your partner back up.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Busy Bee... But Too Busy for You??

Relationships require hard work! There's always that one couple that seems "perfect" to everyone- doesn't get into arguments, both lead seemingly "perfect" lives, amazing connection!

However, I honestly believe that no matter what, relationships take a lot of hard work to keep one going. Both partners in the relationship need to put in effort, not one over the other. Sometimes one may feel that he or she is giving more in the relationship but that hopefully is not the real case with the relationship. Otherwise, it may be time for a talk.

Another scenario: Peter is currently immersed in his life: school, work, sports, social life. His girlfriend, Mary, currently feels that she is being a bit left out of his life. She understands that Peter is busy and the fact that they both go to different schools doesn't really help because of the short distance. However, she feels that he squeezes her in his schedule whenever it is convenient for him rather than for the both of them. She just wants him to put aside a few minutes at the beginning or end of the day so they can talk about their day or anything... any reassurance that their relationship and connection is still the same. She doesn't know whether or not to express this to him or just to hide her feelings and stick it out. What should she do?

My personal opinion is that she should talk to Peter about it! I have been through this certain experience before and if I had hid my feelings, I might have just bottled it up until one day it burst out and made the situation worse than I intended. I think tone and reasoning are extremely important in this situation because if handled in the wrong way, Peter may take Mary's feelings in the wrong way and take the situation in the way that Mary is being too sensitive and wanting Peter to take on less things in his life and spend it with her instead. However, Mary also has to realize that she has to find the line between being too sensitive and actually justifying her emotions. If she is able to convey that she understands that he is busy with his commitments but asks that he put aside 5 minutes at the end of the day to catch up and say good night to each other with him understanding that she is only trying to help their relationship, it will hopefully end well for the both of them. (Compromise always works well!)

What's your opinion? Do you agree or disagree with my handling of the situation? Have you been through this before?

Monday, March 4, 2013

Men's First Date Pet Peeves!

Women have certain standards of what a first date should entail.. so of course men do too! Here are some of the biggest first date complaints from men!

1) Being late without any warning. Honestly this is one of my pet peeves too. If you're going to be late, let me know! It isn't hard to send a text or a phone call to let me know that you are running late. If I'm supposed to be picking you up (this goes for hanging out with friends as well.. sorry, just a majro pet peeve!) and I'm trying to call you for details but you aren't picking up or responding to my texts or calls, I get impatient and mad. Usually they are just away from their phones, their phone has died or they are napping with their phone on silent, but we have plans at a time we both decided! Common courtesy, please! If you show up to a date late, chances are that the date will not start smoothly. Good manners and common courtesy go a long way.
2) Being dressed inappropriately.
This goes for being underdressed, overdressed or just inappropriately dressed. If you know you have a date right after work, bring a change of clothes and a small travel bag of beauty essentials with you to the office then. Look good, feel good! Don't change into something that really isn't anything either... just because he or she can't take his eyes off you (or your other body parts that may be hanging out) doesn't mean that he or she likes you... they just may appreciate what you're showing off for free. Dress appropriate for the situation too! If you're going to the movies, no need for a cocktail dress.
3) Little to no eye contact and fake smiles. You're sending the wrong messages! Making eye contact makes you seem confident to your date as well as open to communication. It is also fairly easy to differentiate a fake smile from a genuine smile. Listen and communicate with your date or else it won't seem like you're having a good time, when in reality you're having a great time with your date!
4) Glued to your phone. I'm guilty of being on my phone when I'm hanging out with my family or friends! I really enjoy it however when my friends and I play that phone game (when we stack our phones on top of each other and the first one to give in to get their phone has to pay for everyone's meals or being publicly shamed) because it forces us to socialize to each other rather than being in our own mobile network. On a date, keep your phone in your purse or pocket on silent or vibrate if you must. You're here to get to know your date, not to check your email and messages!
5) Poor manners.
This goes with #1! If your date sees you being rude to your waiter or other people, it gives off a poor impression of you. First impressions are everything and if I go on a date where my date is shouting at the waiter because he forgot to get more water, I'm not going to want to go on a second date. It will make your date wonder if this is the way that you will treat him or her in the future.. if you even have a future together!
6) Talking about your ex. No one wants to hear about your ex flame on a date together. Trust me. Just don't bring it up. Even if your date is the most caring and understanding person on earth, a first date is not the time to live in the past! If you're still talking about your past problems, you may not be ready for a new relationship.

So men, do you agree with these first date complaints? Women, do you think these are ridiculous or can you relate? I can say I definitely relate to all these first date pet peeves!